Slipping, Tripping, and Down She Goes

Well, I've done it again. I slipped and fell and hit my head while alone. If this is not something that any of you deal with then you may not understand just how scary this type of event can be. Let's back track just a little bit.

I slip, trip, and fall several times a week (and sometimes a day); frequently hitting my head or falling in such a way that is hard for me to get up. I have gone to urgent care at least once for this and have consulted a doctor on more than one occasion. This is one of the greatest reasons I got Skylar and am training her to be a service dog. So far, not one doctor seems to think this is unusual or of any concern. Personally, I don't know of any 20 year old that experiences this on such a regular basis, and therefore find this slightly unsettling.

This particular time, a couple nights ago, I slipped and fell in the shower, hitting my head and not loosing consciousness or memory. (Thank God). I have no family nearby and my closest friends are at least a 20 minute drive away. Now, in a true emergency I do have a couple of people in my area that I can call (especially at almost midnight) and of course I can call 911. However, my options are limited. I have lost consciousness and memory at other times when I have fallen. Calling acquaintances can be a nuisance and calling 911 can be expensive. Once again, my options are limited.

Thankfully I have my little Skylar. I have been training her in basic obedience, however intend to train her as my service dog as she is older. She comes with me just about anywhere in the house I go already and travels with me to as many places as she can at this time. So, she comes into the bathroom with me whenever I take a shower, even at just 12 weeks old. This is the first time I have fallen in the shower since getting her and I was glad as to her reaction. As soon as I went down, she began barking at me and trying to reach me through the shower curtain. She didn't let up until I talked to her and opened the curtain so that she could reach me.

I quickly finished and got out, where she remained uneasy waiting for me. She was clearly not leaving my side until I was safe in her eyes. Even at just 12 weeks she responds in a way that demands my own, and in a case where others may be nearby, the attention of passerby's. I am so pleased to have gotten her and to have her here to look after me.

So far, I feel that I am able to have more confidence in my living situation and look forward to having the ability to go out without fear when she is old enough to accompany me.

The last of the snow here...we are looking forward to some warmer weather!

And so the Journey Begins...

Hello all,

Since the doctor's refusal to see me several weeks ago, I have had a lot going on. I have begun the search once again to find a doctor that listens and respects the fact that I do know how my own body feels and that there is such a thing as documentation without medication. Anyways, you've heard my rant before.

Some of you may know, I have had it on my mind to get a service dog for some time now. I feel that a service dog would be incredibly helpful in my day to day life with Fibromyalgia as an independent person. In addition to providing me support when I am unstable, helping me up when I fall, and acting as a weight to relieve my joints; the known effects of a dog to the psyche, especially in cases of anxiety and depression, both common in Fibro, and both which I suffer from, are enormous.

So, without further ado, meet Skylar!

Skylar is a 10 week old Border Collie Mix. She is adventurous, bold, and unafraid of new things. She is also wildly affectionate and loves attention. 

Being a dog trainer means I can train her myself, giving us even more opportunities to grow together as a team. She seems the perfect fit for me (even though her puppy attitude can be quite frustrating at times). I am looking forward to the many adventures we will have together. 

A Bad Day Followed by Another Bad Day

So, I just need to vent a little bit here. I will preface this post by saying I have been sick for almost a month (or really, over...it's been more than 31 days; and yes, I've counted). So my mood has already been tipping towards the "don't touch, talk, look, comment, look sideways, etc about me" side of nastiness.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, lets just re-hash out how annoyed and upset I am with my doctor. Have I told you this before? Well after moving states, alone, without the advocacy of my Mom, and the first doctor I had here leaving me, I am left with a deaf, oblivious, afraid of work doctor who refuses to listen to me let alone fight for my health. So here I am, still alone, fighting all by myself (more alone now than even before my other doctor, who sympathized and listened to me, left), with more flares than I have had since I was 18.

Isn't that awesome?! And now to add fuel to the fire, the referral for the rhuematologist I had asked for was denied...Because My Lab Work Was Normal! My lab work has ALWAYS been normal, and he would know that if he took a minute to read the notes from the doctors who diagnosed me...which I've requested to be sent up at least twice. Also, Mr. Dr., Fibromyalgia doesn't show up in labwork; it doesn't take a genius to know that.

Oh, and while he was at it, he let me know that there is not a single rhuematologist or pain management doctor in the area that will see me. He encouraged me to do my own research to possibly find another specialist (which, mind you, I already did to find the multiple specialists he subsequently shot down). Does anyone else have to be the doctor and the patient and the sympathizer all at the same time (because as much as I love my friends who are here, they are not the same as having your mom by your side; and my mom works so hard to be there for me, but that is very hard from the other side of the country with a three hour time difference)?

That was Bad Day #1.

Then I woke up the next day, still sick, and with flare and/or flu type symptoms. Oh, so much pain. I couldn't tell if it was sicky pain or fibro pain. The worst flare/non flare I had had in quite some time. If it wasn't for my parrot yelling at me to get up and feed him, I would have staying in bed all day and not moved a muscle (which didn't help either, they still throbbed then too).

 So, naturally, I did what any normal 22 year old girl would do, I called my mom. (I love her so!). Not having a thermometer and coughing for a month with now aches and pains...off to urgent care I went. After 3 hours, a face mask, an uncomfortable nose swab (I would rather a nerve conduction test I think), and a cute male nurse (there is a positive in there somewhere), I do not have the flu. I have some viral infection, $61 in medications and an inhaler. I can't wait for the bill for the visit to come in the mail.

So now I sit, Bad Day #2 almost over, waiting to take my next round of meds before I can go to bed, wallowing in self pity.

Anyone else deal with anything like this? The frustration is overwhelming. My doctor can't even find the time to listen to me enough to find the motivation to help his patient find a specialist she needs...and then another doctor tells me all the illnesses I don't have and "hopes" the medication she prescribes me helps me feel better soon. Ugh!

On a positive note, here are a couple of pictures of that cute parrot I was talking about. His name is Tonks and I love him so!

 

Trip to the Carribean

My most sincere apologies for it taking this long for me to post about the trip. I have no great excuse for you, other than it has taken quite a while to get back into the swing of things. I got sick the last few days of the trip, and as we all know being sick and having Fibro doubles the effects, and on top of that flying across the country took it out of me. I am now less than a week away from being sick for a month, the farthest thing from fun.

As for the trip, I didn't have any major problems, which is the greatest blessing. The hardest part was trying not to show it. I attended this trip with nine other people, not all of whom understand what I deal with on a daily basis (well none of them really do to be honest). Oh, and the feeling of being a burden to everyone. Its like they hear me say I have Fibro, and they see me take the elevator even for just one flight of stairs (when its clearly faster not to wait for the elevator), but they still forget; and how can I blame them? They don't live with this. They feel normal. They see me acting normal. There is such a disconnect, and I wish there was a way to connect all the dots.

But really, I had so much fun on this trip. I was so happy to know myself well enough to participate in all the activities I wanted to. To not let anything hold me back. To have conversations with people who care about me. To enjoy myself. To relax. To recoup. To be myself.

Now for some pictures!

FLORIDA

AMBER COVE

ST. THOMAS

SAN JUAN

GRAND TURK

KENNEDY SPACE CENTER

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS ORLANDO