Flares surrounding the holidays are common for those with FMS, but more than that they are frustrating. The most frustrating. This season is supposed to be filled with fun, love, family, friends, being with people...and all I want is to crawl into bed.
My holiday season started several weeks ago when my brother moved from one side of the country to the other. He towed the little trailer filled with all his belongings behind his little car all the way from coast to coast across this big country. To say I was stressed and worried is an understatement.
In addition to that, working in retail during the holidays means chaos. Not organized, livable chaos. But the uncontrollable, unreliable, and terribly horribly busy and hectic chaos.
Just these two things alone can cause crazy flares. For the most part, however, I was doing okay. That was until the snow. Snow is pretty...and cold, and slippery, and not easy to live with when you have extreme cold sensitivities mixed with a lack of coordination and a tendency to fall.
Then add Christmas festivities. For me, that meant work, Christmas Eve service at church, Christmas Eve with J's family, and Christmas Day with more family. Stress, time crunch, places to be, people to see, long drive, bad weather...the list goes on and on.
And last but not least, add our trip coming up on the first. A week long cruise to the Caribbean followed by a full day at Kennedy Space Center and another at Universal Studios sandwiched between two full days of flights. You get the idea, flare central.
So how do I cope? I live, I celebrate, I do what I want to do when I want to do it, and I take breaks. Breaks and conversation are key. One of the beauties of the holiday season is that people want to sit and talk. When I'm on the brink of a flare, I can sit and chat with one of the many people who are there and want to sit and chat. Its the easiest time of the year to actually educate people on what it is that I have and how it affects me. It's amazing how just talking to someone and reaching a place of some understanding brings such a sense of relief. The pain my not go away, but the burden of talking to someone, having one more person who has some bit of understanding, is relieving in one of the greatest ways.
This year I had the pleasure of spending some time with J's mom, who is also suffering from some sort of pain disorder, though she doesn't yet know which. In spending several hours with her (something I hadn't done one-on-one), I realized that it doesn't matter what it is that we have. Just knowing that the person next to you suffers from something invisible too and understands the struggles you go through is, well there really isn't a word for it, but comforting may be the closest word I can think of. Its a comfort to spend some time talking with someone who doesn't constantly remissness on the fact that while you don't look sick, you in fact are. Its is comforting to not have to explain that you are in pain at this very moment. It is comforting to have someone understand why you are shuffling across the icy parking lot, because she is too. It is comforting.
What I learned this year is that you don't have to look sick. I don't have to look sick to ask for a break. I don't have to look sick to start a conversation. I don't have to look sick to find someone who understands me.
And on the flip side, I don't have to look healthy either. I don't have to look healthy to enjoy my holiday. I don't have to look healthy to stay busy. I don't have to look healthy to spend time with people I love.
The fact is, I can just be me and do all these things regardless of my having FMS. I had one of the best holiday seasons' regardless of having more flares this year than ever before.
