This is where the easy friend comes in. K and I have known each other for somewhere around 2 years. Not very long in the grand scheme of things, but longer when you consider I've only lived in this area for 3. Recently she was diagnosed with MS.
K had unusual symptoms for a couple days before having what was thought to be a stroke. She was taken to the hospital where she spent the next few days having tests run. Later the diagnosis (preliminary as you generally have to have two or more episodes before a diagnosis) of MS was discussed. Since then she has had to relearn and adapt to her new life with this new disability.
While she and I have been friends, we weren't particularly close. We didn't have a whole lot in common and rarely hung out just the two of us. That, I believe (and hope), will be changing.
MS and Fibro have a lot of things in common. Symptoms, lifestyles, depression, and the lack of ability to relate with others surrounding your disability. Just the other day K and I decided to go out to dinner and spend some time together. I admit, my motives were not entirely pure. I had hopes of asking about her diagnosis, and in a sick way, was happy I was no longer alone.
Now, don't worry...I didn't right out go and ask what it was like living with MS. As any friend would be, I was generally concerned for her and am glad she is recovering remarkably well. As it would turn out, she was just as eager to talk to me. I never kept the fact that I have Fibro a secret from my friends and I openly discuss it with them. We spent hours together that night. Dinner, coffee, and conversation goes a long way for the soul. K is the first person I have really talked to about the difficulties I have living with this. Not even my family can understand like she does. Not even J can understand the daily struggles. But K does, in a way that no one else ever has.
It is deep comfort to know that you have someone that understands you, really understands what your life is like, and have that same person also care about you. I have never experienced anything quite like the conversation I had with K that night. It is rejuvenating. It is inspiring. It is fulfilling. It is so many things that I thought I would never find. I am not alone in this fight. We are not alone in this fight.
While K does not have the same thing I have, we share an understanding that neither one can find in many places. I now have someone that I can send a text to on a bad day, someone I can call when J just doesn't understand, someone to rejoice with me on a good day, someone who has my back. And that, is an amazing feeling.
I encourage you to find a support group, or at least a support person other than a family member, spouse, or significant other. I have struggled for years to find a support person and the support groups I found weren't really very supporting. K listens to me, complains with me, gives advise and tips, and I listen to her, complain with her, and give her advise and tips. It is so important to have someone who understands on a deep level, who not only sympathizes with you, but has the ability to empathize with you as well.
If you don't find a support group online and can't find one in your area, talk to your doctor or your church. They may know of a group or even a specific person that is interested in the same thing.
Love the snow covered valley floor. God's artistry is breathtaking.
